it’s just pretty damn sad to be followed on tumblr in a secret capacity. The person changed their tumblr account so that I couldn’t follow, but somehow this person continues to follow me

I imagine that since today is Mother’s Day,

my children might just hate me less today than other days. 

Oh yeah!

Mother’s Day.

When I’m reminded every year that abortion was legal at the time. 

kristasassypants:

casey-tacooos:

elastic-bands:

i watched the whole thing, maybe I am high

I watched the whole thing and I am most certainly NOT high.

brb. gonna watch again

can you get high just from watching it? If so, I’m in

Based on the way my family is currently acting,

you’d think there was some sort of holiday coming up.

Oh.

Yeah.

Nevermind.

And here I thought the internet was made specifically for penis jokes.

Imagine my chagrin.

this one’s for you my dear. you know who you are.. 

I was a horrible Mom. Mainly because I was afraid of the dark. 
It’s just impossible to be a good mom if you’re afraid of the dark.
My girls would yell “Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooom, there’s a monster under my bed!”.
And I would yell back, “QUIET! He can hear you!”

I truly think that gay marriage needs to be allowed anywhere,

cause I would *so* watch the shit out of Gay Divorce Court.

May have another cookie please?